Makeup and Misconceptions will be complete in 2011

After almost a year of absence I am back on the air. Things are moving in the right direction.

Makeup and Misconceptions is coming together in a paper edit, I am discussing final post production with a very experienced editor this week, the fabulous Peter George has come on as producer and Documentary Australia Foundation have accepted Makeup and Misconceptions onto their approved listing. Yeah! If you would like to support this fantastic project check out the link.
Documentary Australia foundation link

My heart is open

Sometimes when an experience happens to me it changes the way I look at the world. This last weekend I have had such an experience at a sacred woman's retreat. Annette from Oz tantra www.oztantra.com took 10 women through a host of amazing healing processes. I have come home certain that it will change the way I piece together the amazing story of Amanda Monroe and Drags Aloud. If the experience of the weekend has taught me anything it is that fear is the greatest inhibitor of human beings' capacity to love fully and reach their individual capacity. How I see this whole thing relate to the film I am making is that Amanda appears to have moved forward in her journey regardless of the fear that she felt. Her fearlessness has reaped rewards in public adoration, private friendships and most importantly in a personal acceptance that is the rightful climax of a decade of soul and gender searching. What is it about the modern world that continues to overlook the simplicity of being or feeling fully realized? Is it that as a modern sophisticated society we have become so far removed from ourselves that most people no longer know that they are living below their ful capacity in terms of self expression, experiencing joy and experiencing love in life? What a gift to have witnessed someone so fearless as Amanda and the amazingly fearless individuals she has attracted to her. Jess is a mountain of fearless fun, Kris a tower of love in a hard Germanic shell and Linda has one of the most open hearts I've ever seen. The energy and joy that oozes out of all four of these amazing individuals and amazing performers thrills me even as I write.

Rites of passage continue through life

I feel like a mother who has given away her baby!! Today I have given the entire footage file over to a inspiring young editor who is going to put together a rough cut of the film. After weeks of trial and error and too much emotional attention I feel today the burden of perfection lifted. I have been anxious and resisting the pace of the ride that is my film progress for the last few weeks. Last week I showed a trailer to some generous and talented people at Doco3000. www.doco3000.blogspot.comTheir comment, encouragement and criticisms were received with good grace and given in true Doco3000 supportive style. But it all felt a bit overwhelming and I had to go underground for a day or two to collect myself and recover. This final stage of constructing story and showing film as story is taking its toll on me in more ways than you can imagine. My desire to make the best film and convey or portray Amanda and Drags Aloud in the most honest, truthful and interesting way is asking something of me in an emotional capacity I had not expected. The making of this film is feeling like a rite of passage into a new phase of my adult, post maternal, independent and self confident womanhood. Can the words of the beautiful Georgian Dresser from New York now be applied to me? Quote " you girls are so wonderful, you've got me in touch with my own womanhood!"  Is it possible that it is me who most needs to learn the lessons that this inspiring story will attempt to convey?

Makeup and Misconceptions. What do we really allow ourselves to see?

After much discussion with my art director Derek Samuel from Derek Samuel Design (God love 'm) www.dereksamuel.com an old family friend and brother of Faith (who you might recall I was with when I first met Amanda and Drags Aloud)  I have come up with a title for this documentary that I think is right. Over the past two years there have been numerous takes on the title, starting with Raising the Bar (which I loved) Trying to be (which I soon tired of) Drags Allowed (which I always thought was wrong but somehow explained what I was thinking) and now Makeup and Misconceptions (which I think is just fan fairy tastic!!) Like all things in this process the title has taken its time in presenting itself to me in the form that I think is right. Whilst not 100% happy with each previous title they all served a purpose and have helped me get to where I am today. Sitting here with a name that feels right and really says what I want to say in a really succinct way feels good. And God do I love some alliteration too! My log line for the past 6 months has read " Behind the makeup and misconceptions lies a story of loyalty, love and laughter." The title words have been mine and starring me in the face for ages but like the proverbial elephant in the room I didn't see it. Why is it that sometimes we cannot see what is most obvious? Does that mean that things show themselves when we are ready to see them? Deep questions that start on the subject of documentary titles but go to the very heart of life and what it is that we allow ourselves to see.

Choice and the pain of choosing

When thinking becomes the objective sometimes for me doing falls away. In the past few weeks I have been thinking and not writing on this my blog. It shows a lack of commitment on one hand and a willingness to let things be as they should on the other. Today in my "Meditations for women who do too much"  by Anne Wilson Schaef,  the discussion was about choosing the gifts that you most want to use. I wonder if age and exhaustion are the signposts for telling us to slow down, consider and choose. I feel I have been choosing lately and there is loss involved in making choices. As I edit on paper and refine the story of Amanda and Drag's Aloud I have to accept that so much of what is important in the lives I have witnessed cannot be said in this film. I am in the painful and often frustrating place of choosing what is in and what is out. There is pain in choice and choice in pain, but for me that choice doesn't make the process any easier. How then do Transgendered people like Amanda get through the many choices they have to make and what are the losses involved? What are the losses involved in choosing to change gender or genderrepresentation? I have my own view but what do you think? Why not leave me a comment and let me know.

Identities a film by Vittoria Colonna

Thanks to Amanda for sending me the link from Cherrie and the article about " Identities" a feature documentary from Irish film maker Vittoria Colonna. After reading the article and searching the website I am thrilled to see that such a beautiful film looking at the issues of Drag,Transgender, the gender binary and the place of performance in living life honestly with passion has been made. The visuals and short clips of the film are so stunning and treated with such an artistic aesthetic that any suggestion that the individuals portrayed are not serious performance artists is completely dispelled. The directors' statement on her website

http://www.colonnavittoria.com/Vittoria_Colonna.html says eloquently many of the things I want to say about the complexity and beauty of the human experience of self expression and personal identity. As a film maker it is often hard to keep going on a project that is complex, challenging of me and my subjects, has taken many years to unfold and constantly demands an artistic rigor that at times I think I am lacking or scrambling madly to acquire. Seeing the interest this film has generated encourages me to continue delving deeper into my material, thinking more about what it is I really want to say and how beautifully I can convey the treasures I have been so privileged to witness whilst documenting Amanda and the members of Drags Aloud. If you are in Melbourne Identities is screening at The Greyhound Hotel, 1 Brighton Road St Kilda 7.pm Friday 7th May, followed by Drag King show time.

Laughter and the dirty goddess

Yesterday I gave Amanda a gift. It was a copy of Women who run with the wolves by Clarissa :Pinkola Este`s This wonderful collection of stories and insightful discussion has always been a favourite of mine and I wanted to share the treasures I had found in its pages with Amanda. Just recently I re read the chapter on retrieving a sacred sexuality which discusses the sensory nature of women and our desire to laugh at "dirty stories". It occurred to me that what Drags Aloud and Amanda often do for the host of women who attend their performances is provide the opportunity to have the kind of energizing, invigorating belly laugh that come from being in touch with the heat of intense sensory awareness. Is it possible in a world where we are so politically correct and our sensory awareness has been so eroded by exhaustion and moral judgment that women as a community have little or no opportunity to collectively laugh like that any more? If so is that why women so love the bawdy comic style of Drags Aloud? These questions I ask myself as I continue to consider deeper and deeper ideas for the film I wish to make about these amazing entertainers.I look forward to discussing this idea with Amanda and tapping into the wisdom that has come with crossing the gender divide and being a comic Drag Queen. I would love to hear some feed back about this notion and engage in a discussion about it. 

" In laughter, a woman can begin to really breathe, and when she does this, she might begin to feel unsanctioned feelings. "  page 336 Women who run with the wolves.

If you would like to read some more great quotes from Women who run with the wolves check out this link http://www.goodreads.com/book/quotes/241823.Women_Who_Run_with_the_Wolves